Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just want to make out with him forever
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
