Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
