Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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