I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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