all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
