Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
