he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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