I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
