I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
