You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
