you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
