I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
