Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
