If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
