you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
