i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Randomize
