Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
