Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
