Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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