ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
