I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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