I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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