Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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