ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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