I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
