I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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