if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He better not be in your backpack
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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