I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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