Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
