I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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