so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
