yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
