One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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