remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
