My sheets look like a crime scene.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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