I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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