I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
