belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
