Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
