you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Drunk is a universal language darling
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
