fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
vagina is talking i cant
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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