Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
