very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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