if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
