Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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