If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
