Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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