3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
