Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
