They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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