I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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