I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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