You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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