I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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