I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
